Livin' the Twilife

I apologize in advance for beating this dead horse some more, but I can't resist.

A friend won tickets to this early showing of Eclipse and invited me to come along with a couple of other friends. These are folks I like, so I figured, what the heck? I'll go. I considered wearing the Twilight shirt Deb gave me, but I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. Apparently, I have a problem with pride that I should work on. All y'all might think I couldn't keep my opinions to myself, but amid all the Edward and Jacob paraphernalia, I mostly held my tongue. I sensed the danger. Though when the guy came out and, in an attempt at humor, welcomed us to the special showing of Toy Story 3, I couldn't resist saying, "You mean we get to see a good movie?" Luckily I suppose, not too many folks heard me, and I think those who did were confused. Anyway, before the movie started, there were some prize giveaways, and I got to watch people attempt to catch black shirts emblazoned with muscular werewolf chests and sensuous vampire stares. I didn't manage to catch one, nor did I win a replica of Bella's special ring or bracelet in the raffle, but I'm dealing with the disappointment admirably. After the fruitless round of prize giveaways, I enjoyed some previews before being plunged into the world of sparkling vampires and lovesick werewolves. I will not say I wasn't entertained. In fact, this may be a movie I'd give "better than the book" status. Mainly because there were real people playing the roles and that was enough to infuse these mostly blank characters with at least some semblance of personality. Okay, not all of them, but I kinda liked Charlie. Also, there were some lovely forest and snow shots. But then there were these ridiculously computer graphic looking werewolves running around, and when a completely fake looking werewolf Jacob came up to be scratched behind the ears by Bella, I was not the only one who couldn't repress a snigger. Then there were vampires breaking like ice, and it appeared their bodies were solid. Where do they keep the sperm? And Carlisle just looked weird. Jasper looked almost cool, except with that milky white skin, those ruby red lips, and those shiny, curly locks, I found myself wanting to put him in a blue petticoat dress and a straw hat with a big bow on it and stick a shepherd's crook in his hand. Somehow I just couldn't get into the drama of Bella's choice to become a vampire when I knew she wouldn't actually have to give up her humanity (such as it is), bearing children or hanging out with her parents. And every time the tortured Jacob laid his heart before Bella's clumsy feet, I just wanted to shout, "It's not her; it's just one of her eggs you're after!" Then there was the co-dependency of Bella and Edward, portrayed just as nauseatingly as one could hope. Honestly, when I get a hankering for over-the-top melodrama with a hefty dose of sexual tension, I watch "Days of our Lives" or listen to Air Supply. I prefer my cheesy melodrama straightforward and unpretentious. I find it less insulting. All in all, I can say this movie lived up to my expectations with flying colors.