Bwahahahahaha!

Hey, I'm actually documenting an event less than a month after it actually occurred. The Mad Scientist turned six! Here he is in his lab coat wearing, mouth full of chocolate cake glory:

Watch out, Megan and Beka. I think those two may have come up with some new molecules. Let's hope they're not radioactive:


Makin' slime!:"Don't strike till you see the whites of its eye!" Oh, how Dan loves a chance to get in a good one liner. However, despite all of the well timed striking, the eye remained in tact even after all the kids had taken several whacks. Dan had to bring in the muscle:
After Dan had his way with it:
The birthday boy holding the fruits of Dad's labor from the bowls of an eye shaped pinata:
Enjoying a gift from Grandma:

On to Father's Day. I was sick that morning. The kids started their banter around 5:00 am. I whined at Dan to please get up with them. And I got breakfast in bed on Mother's Day. Poor Dan. He did, at least, get to go trekking through Pine Valley with Bennett:
Also, Dan turned really old. Warning: Mushiness will ensue---you might want to get a barf bag or skip this paragraph. I am so very glad Dan was born, and that I had the good fortune to cross his path, and that we managed to get through the most awkward courtship ever and actually end up married. He is so much better than I deserve. Truly I didn't even know a relationship could be this good, and I honestly feel sorry for everyone else, because I'm certain I've got the best marriage. Dan makes me feel beautiful (even when I'm not). He makes me feel like he thinks he got the good deal in this arrangement (which he didn't). We talk about everything, and he always gets me and never thinks I'm crazy. Okay, well, that's not true, he thinks I'm a nut case, but he loves me, even the craziness (okay, that's not entirely true either...but most of the craziness anyway).
I hope this next bit isn't crossing the line. Laraine will someday tell me I shouldn't have made this public, but I can't resist. She came and told me that she's "a mommy." She's got two little ping pong type balls in her dress. Is this based on how she sees my endowments? Should I feel insulted that she didn't at least go for tennis balls? I comfort myself with the knowledge that she could barely fit what she's got down that dress. Here's a "cleavage" shot:

Jasper's trying to get the balls out of her dress in this one:

On the Review Blog: Dan reviewed Up (movie, not preposition---is this joke getting old?)

Thanks to Elizabeth for taking the pictures at Bennett's party.

I Would Do Anything For Love....

Today's subject: Embracing the Shameless Melodrama
Sometimes I like to pretend I'm classy. Then I remember how much I love Meat Loaf. But how can you not love a guy who makes this his album cover? Yeah, sometimes I worry that there may be way too much Goth Dork in me.
I guess it's even more Jim Steinman than it is Meat Loaf. His rock anthems sometimes make me weak at the knees. Seriously. I love the soaring, passionate, crashing nature of his melodies---and his lyrics, screaming with emotion, yet barely making any sense. I love Bonnie Tyler, Air Supply, and *gasp* even Celine Dion if they're singing Steinman's stuff. Jim Steinman is the KING of melodrama (when it comes to melodrama royalty, his only real competition is Emily Bronte), but he knows it, and he pokes fun at it even as he wallows in it. I love this guy. I mean, he writes titles such as, "Life is a Lemon and I Want my Money Back" and "Good Girls Go to Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)." Check him out here performing "Hot Summer Night/The Wolf with the Red Roses"---it's brilliant (Meat Loaf singing "You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth" follows---and what can you say? Meat Loaf is awesome, but you'll probably only watch the whole video if you're really looking for enlightenment):


For your amusement, here's my list of Top Steinman lyrics---really just about any Steinman lyric is over the top, but here are my picks:
-"You're burning up in your bed, you got a fever of love/And there's not an antibody in sight"
-"Will ya cater to every fantasy I've got?/Will ya hose me down with holy water---if I get too hot?"
-"We're living in a powder keg/And giving off sparks"
-"And the last thing I see is my heart/Still beating/Still beating/Breaking out of my body and flying away/Like a bat out of hell"
-"We were doubly blessed/Cause we were barely seventeen/And we were barely dressed"
-"She used her body just like a bandage/She used my body just like a wound...But I can see her rising up out of the back seat now/Just like an angel rising out of a tomb!"
-"Oh I know you belong inside my aching heart/And can't you see my faded Levis bursting apart?" (Is that line really as bad as I think it is? I hope I haven't offended anyone, but how could it not make the list? Yet it actually comes from one of my favorite songs.)
-"I want you/I need you/But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you/ Now don't be sad/'Cause two out of three ain't bad"

Here's to the genius of Jim Steinman!

My brother showed me this the other day. Videos for Jim Steinman music are really good fodder for this kind of thing. I admit to being most amused by this:


And if you're interested in what might get my vote for cheesiest video ever...ah, it makes me grateful to have grown up in the 80s:



Okay, moving on....
It's been an age since I blogged, so here's a bit of what's been happening:

Big sigh of relief for my parents. They managed to get us all married off. Laurie and Dave are now living happily ever after. He's a pretty good guy. I like him, even though he likes the Next Generation more than the original Star Trek. (I always find myself questioning whether people with that opinion have souls, but I guess that's overly judgmental, and Dave appears to have a soul. Cool thing about Dave: His favorite book is Moby Dick. No, really.)
Here's an attempt at a photo of the family. Yeah, attempt.... Bennett appears to need the restroom.
Bennett graduated from kindergarten. Why can't colleges figure out how to hold a proper graduation? The kindergarten knows what's up. Graduation ceremonies should consist of less than a half hour of the graduates singing things like "The Wheels on the Bus" and we'd all be spared a lot of agony.
Bennett likes to make signs. Here are some examples. Dan was given this first one after displeasing Bennett in some manner.
I found this one on the bathroom door. Yes, folks, our bathroom is for the use of both genders.
I threw Laurie's bridal shower.

And some images from Easter:

Today's Reviews on Dangie's Reviews:

Taken (Past Participle, not movie) and
Star Trek: Beginnings

And I'll end this long and meandering post with a Dannism: "You know you're a Runner Dad when you've got My Little Pony Band-aids on your nipples." (In case you're confused, his shirt chafes him there.) Hmm...My Little Pony Band-aids on bleeding nipples....I'm thinking Jim Steinman could go somewhere with that...

DAngie: A Comedy of Errors (and a Leprechaun Story Too)

Dan and I went to Made in Brazil, one of those they-bring-you-lots-of-different-meats/buffet type restaurants. We were having a lovely time. The food was quite delicious, and we'd both nearly stuffed ourselves, so we wandered over to this little table next to the long buffet table with a selection of desserts on it, figuring we'd enjoy dessert and be on our way. I picked a blintz kinda thing and Dan picked flan. We took our desserts back to our table and sat down to dig in, or at least to try to dig in. I found myself needing a steak knife to cut my blintz and thought, "This doesn't seem right." I asked Dan, "How's your flan?" He responded that his flan was chewier than his past experience with flan would have led him to expect. At this point, I realized we had foolishly erred in thinking that this place included dessert for the 18 smackers and that we had taken floor model desserts. We sheepishly called our waitress over to apologize for being imbeciles and ruining the models. She said, "It's okay, but they're a lot better when they're fresh. They are an extra charge, but would you like fresh ones?" At this point, we'd have felt even more idiotic refusing, so we said yes, we'd like new ones and sorry again about destroying the models. But here's the upshot of this somewhat embarrassing narrative: when our waitress brought us the new desserts, she informed us that they were on the house because she felt bad that we'd been confused. So, here's just another bit of evidence that being a moron pays off. Dan and I got four desserts for the price of none (though the second set was much better). My advice to you when dining at Made in Brazil: try to eat the floor model desserts.

Pictures of kids:
Above is the illustration to Bennett's leprechaun story, which follows:

"'Twas the night before St. Patrick's Day, and not a creature was stirring, except for me and Laraine setting booby traps for leprechauns so that we could get their gold. When we woke up we had a big surprise. We found a leprechaun trapped, so we shook him like crazy saying, 'Where's your gold? Tell us no lies.' He said, 'It's at the end of the rainbow outside.' So we went out and got his gold." After I transcribed the story, Bennett wrote a 15 on the bottom of my transcription. I asked him why and was informed that it's rated PG-15, which seems somewhat excessive to me, but I guess there's that violent leprechaun shaking in there. I should also mention that the morning this story was composed I did indeed wake up to find that Bennett and Laraine had set up booby traps all over the house in hopes of catching leprechauns. The traps consisted mainly of boxes propped up by blocks. Clearly, had any leprechauns had the misfortune to enter our home that day, it would have been to their peril.

They're jammin' to some Buddy Holly. My kids have good taste.

The review today: Taken (movie, not past participle)

Don't You Just Love it When...?

I take two months to post, and now I'm posting again already, but here's a Don't You Just Love It moment. My visiting teachers came by for the first time today. I enjoyed their visit. Then right after they left, I looked down at my shirt and found that one of my children had kindly wiped a large and conspicuous booger front and center. Nice.

Christmas, Birthdays, Valentine's Day, and a Woofie

Okay, I must be penitent about that little rant on the last post. Dan and I spoke in church last Sunday. Guess what topic they gave me? Lift Where You Stand...hmm.....you think this had any thing to do with my reaction to being called to nursery?

Now that I've been penitent, here's another little rant: people who build their houses on the very top of hills/mountains. Maybe this is a weird quirk in both me and Dan and this doesn't bother most people, but we often lament the many houses on the hills around our house. I don't mind building near hills, even on the way up hills (if it doesn't involve carving a big ugly gash out of an otherwise lovely mountain...I think all you folks who are familiar with St. George know what I'm talking about). I love the red hills around my house, but I am annoyed by having my view of the skyline tainted by people's huge, pretentious houses sitting right, smack on top of the hills. Sorry to anyone who has such a house. I'm sure many otherwise lovely people have houses on hilltops.

Now a little bit of what's been going on in the last two months....
Laraine turned three. She's very into "Frincesses" right now, so we had a Princess Party. She certainly is our "Fritty Frincess." I adore her. I love to hear her say "Frana" or "Franta" (Grandma, Grandpa). I love it when she runs up to hug Bennett when he gets off the bus after school and then holds his hand as they walk back to the house. I love listening to her play make believe with Bennett and hearing her say things like, "Superman, save me!" I love it when she brings me a book, often "Fancy Wancy" (Nancy). I love it when she wants to carry a purse. I love it when she introduces people to her baby brother, "Jastor." I even love her roar, to which I'm often treated when I've displeased her.
We spent a ridiculous amount of money at the Bear Mill for Laraine's birthday. Here she is with "Eunice."

This is Bennett and "Safari Sweetie."
And here's Jalen with "Pink."

Jasper turned one. I love our Doodle Bug. I love how he flaps his arms. I love his easy smile. I love it when he gets hold of a comb and tries to brush his nearly non-existent hair. I love the feathery little plume right on top of his head. I love his crazy lopsided crawl. I love his sweet, open nature and that just the sight of him makes me feel like laughing.

Here are a few images from Christmas. We had a wonderful holiday.

She did insist on wearing the princess dress from Grandma and Grandpa for probably 2 solid weeks.

Yes, we have already had to take away the sword.

Dan and I spent more than we should have to go to a Valentine's Day dinner/dance/party. But, hey, apparently it was for charity, and I had to take this opportunity to wear a fancy ball gown. There are far too few opportunities to wear fancy dresses. I dug up a dress from back in the day. We had a grand time. The food was good, the company was excellent, and we danced like imbeciles. As Dan puts it, "Poorly, but enthusiastically." I was asked if I took the precaution of wearing steel toed shoes to dance with Dan. I didn't, but I managed to get by with no major injuries. Our table was shushed by the host during the performance. (I know, can you believe that a table where Dan was sitting could have possibly been shushed? What can I say---I guess I thought the singer was sort of background music.) I noted that the experience turned out to be even more reminiscent of our high school proms than I had expected. Getting in trouble, just like old times. I believe last time it was for dancing in the fountain at the D Day dance. That was the last dance of my high school career, and I'm so glad I went with Dan then and that I'm with him forever now (poor guy).
We added a canine to the family. Meet Diamond. She is a Lab/Border Collie mix with a few more things thrown in as well, I'm sure. She's fantastic. She is sweet and obedient, and she almost never barks. Dan is loving his new running partner, but I suppose I have to accept that my house will most likely be stinkier.

I reviewed Hancock and Hellboy II on the review blog. I've written a few new reviews on Goodreads in the past two months, so I added a link to my list of reviews on Goodreads.

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

It's a rare snowy day in St. George, and Bennett's pretty thrilled. Though after playing with Dan in the snow for a few minutes, Bennett suddenly realized he was really cold and that maybe he actually is glad he doesn't live in a place where it's snowy very often.



So I've been out of it for awhile. Buying a house and moving in has been time consuming, though fun and exciting. We're finally settled, and I've even thrown my first party in my new house. Inspired by Stacy, I decided to try hosting a cookie exchange. Dan (A.K.A. BEST husband ever) waitered for the party. I cooked most of the food beforehand. Some of the food flopped, and Dan could have used some help, so there were some kinks, but I had a good time, I hope my guests had a good time, and I certainly got some excellent cookies out of the deal. I forgot to take a shot of the set-up before the party, but here's the aftermath.


And here's my haul. The cookies were SOOO good. Dan, the kids, and I have already polished off all seven dozen, and the party was only two days ago.
This year our family went out and chopped down our own Christmas tree. For me and the kids, it was a first, but it's the way Dan's family got a tree when he was a kid. I would say it was a success. We took Laurie and Dave along, and I think a good time was had by all.



Decorating our tree...
We had an excellent Thanksgiving. I forgot to take a picture of the lovely and delicious Thanksgiving spread, but here are Jorryn and Jasper in their Thanksgiving finery. Jasper, by the way, has finally decided that it is time to join the world of the mobile. He does a funky little drag one leg crawl now.
This picture kind of belongs on the last post, but this is Bennett's Halloween party at school. I was there as a helper, and I took Laraine and Jasper along. Laraine got to sit with the kids and enjoy the Halloween treats.
So a couple Sundays ago, Dan decided to bear his testimony, kind of introduce himself to the new ward....it may have been a nice testimony, but I don't think anyone paid much attention to it. I was sitting in the center pew, third row (our children had already been making their presence known quite heartily), attempting to hold Jasper and control Bennett and Laraine, but when Dan went up to the pulpit, Laraine ran after him. That was fine; he picked her up and went ahead with his testimony. Then Bennett decided he should go up too. Well, it would have been all right if he'd just gone up and stood next to Dan, but no, he grabbed the pulpit from the front and began jumping up and down, trying to see Dan. After a couple of minutes of this, I decided I better get him. With Jasper in one arm, I grabbed Bennett with my free hand. He refused to let go of the front of the pulpit. I got to have the supreme pleasure of struggling with him, front and center, before the entire ward. I managed to pull him off and literally dragged him (he threw himself to the floor and commenced kicking and screaming) to the pews. He grabbed the second row pew. I sat on the third row pew and hung on to his hand, while he stretched (on the ground) across the row and hung on to the second row pew. Finally, he broke free and ran up to stand next to Dan. Dan put his arm around Bennett and finished his testimony while I sat wilted and humiliated in the pew. It was lovely. If I had been a spectator, I would have loved it. The kind woman in the row behind me told me how nice it was for her to see someone's children behaving worse than hers. Anyway, we did, indeed, make our presence known.

Moving on to the rant....

I got a calling last Sunday...guess what? NURSERY! I accepted VERY ungraciously. I think Dan was about to crawl under the chair. When the 1st,2nd? Counselor gave me the news, I turned to Dan and said, "I TOLD you they'd do this to me." (Our first Sunday when I dropped Laraine off at nursery, I learned that there had only been one leader in there for awhile, and I said to Dan, "What do you bet they nail me for that one?") I then said to the Counselor, "I can't tell you I'm happy about it, but I'll do it. It sure is nice to be new in the ward and get a calling that allows me to meet people so easily..." I said some more really inappropriate stuff. Then I said some more to Dan later about my opinions on callings, particularly how it's always mothers of young children in the primary callings, when we're hanging out with young children all the time anyway, and why don't older people get these callings more? (Because old dudes REFUSE---one of my pet peeves---have you ever noticed how it's mostly older women sitting in Relief Society?) I'm pretty sure I crossed the line into sacrilege, but do I have a target on my forehead or something? I've spent maybe 5 months in callings outside of primary in all of my active adulthood. You would think after the display last Sunday, they would find me incompetent to work with small children, but I guess they figured I need more practice.

Dan wrote today's review: Australia

I have been quite occupied with moving, but I finally read a book:

Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde

My review